Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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