Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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