sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
It's official drugs can't kill me
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
