Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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