worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
