She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
