i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
