its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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