Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
