She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
time to smoke my breakfast
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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