just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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