Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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