cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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