Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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