btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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