i think my tv is drunk
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
