Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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