This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
