She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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