Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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