let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
