found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
