It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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