He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
