You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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