also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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