I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
PANTIES FOUND
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