Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
