honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
