i already hear my dad disowning me
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
