I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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