He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
This is the high leading the old right now
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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