She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
