So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
