Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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