I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
did i just pee glitter
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize