Ambien. No doubt about it.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
