Who wears a wallet chain?!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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