redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
