Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize