Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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