Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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