So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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