Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
if only i could text you this smell
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
