My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
