so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
God I need to hump something, right now.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
