dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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