i think my mom watched the whole time
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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