Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
