Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
