Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
