Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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