You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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