I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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