Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
