so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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