we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
