i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
