no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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