Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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