No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
