why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
