were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
where am i from again
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
