did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
