Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think I sprained my soul last night
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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