Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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