Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
