I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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