yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
