oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Randomize
